Hey everyone, I wanted to open up about my journey with BlackIVF. It’s been a rollercoaster of emotions, filled with hope and disappointment. If anyone else is going through the same experience, I would love to connect and share insights. We can be each other’s strength through this tough process. Let’s support and uplift one another on this challenging path.
I’ve kept a lot of my struggles to myself, being a black Latina in a same-sex marriage. My parents don’t even know this is possible. I don’t know how to tell them once we reach 12 weeks. My partner and I have been through a lot, so I don’t care what they think. Feel free to reach out, we’ve been through multiple rounds and are currently in beta hell. How are you handling it? Have you started yet?
I am grateful for the wonderful responses I received upon waking up. I believe we could benefit from a group chat and serve as a strong support system for each other. However, sharing my IVF journey has attracted some negative energy from colleagues and family members who do not understand the process. Despite having gone through five miscarriages and multiple failed IVF attempts, I remain hopeful for success in my upcoming embryo transfer. The journey has been emotionally draining, especially with insensitive remarks from people close to me. In my line of work in politics, I can handle external distractions, but when it comes to comments about my fertility struggles, it hits hard. I am grateful for the support of my husband and believe in supporting each other through this unique and challenging journey, healing together along the way.
Initially, my friends were supportive, but it seems like many of them have disappeared due to the holidays. My husband’s family is aware of the situation and curious about the process, as there are no issues on their end (they are Latino). On the other hand, my family is unaware because they tend to go overboard with their reactions. Work couldn’t care less, and my neighborhood and clinic don’t have many people who can relate. So, I’m just spending my time on online forums commiserating with others. 
I am African American and undergoing IVF treatment. My parents are supportive, although they may not fully grasp the process. Most of my providers and fellow patients in my predominantly black city have been a great support system. The care team and nurses have been incredibly kind, and I have met some wonderful people on this journey.
I am currently 10 weeks pregnant with my IVF baby who is Black. My family has been supportive, especially since I am 40, but they don’t fully understand the science behind it. My husband’s family is also excited and have been helpful. My friends are mostly single Black women without kids who are fascinated by the process. Some are considering becoming SMBC. Fortunately, my work covered most of the costs, but we still paid $15k out of pocket. I have learned a lot about my body through this process and feel grateful. I would love to start a group chat and meet up for mocktails in Florida or Miami.
I have decided not to disclose this situation to my family due to its complexity and uncertainty. I am not emotionally prepared to discuss all the details in every phone call with my mom. I am concerned that my family will react as if pregnancy is guaranteed and make inappropriate comments. I prefer to wait until my final attempt before considering adoption.
I am not certain if race plays a role, but as a black individual, I am undergoing IVF. My family is aware and supportive, as are my siblings. I haven’t disclosed this information to my colleagues, but I had to inform a client when taking a day off for an egg retrieval. She initially reacted negatively, but changed her attitude after hearing my explanation. A close friend who did IVF for her children is also supportive.
In my experience, there is a sense of unity that transcends race among those who have undergone this journey. My family and friends were fully accepting, despite not fully comprehending it. I have also disclosed at work and found that many coworkers are either on a similar path or know someone who is, more often than not.
My friends and family have been very supportive. With many women in my family experiencing fibroids, endometriosis, and PCOS, they were relieved to understand the reasons behind fertility struggles. There have been inquisitive discussions as well as concerns about affordability based on some cautionary stories in my family.
My immediate family has been incredibly supportive of me during my previous struggles. Now, as we embark on another round of IVF with our 16-month-old, their support means everything to me.
I was initially confused about IVF and its necessity, but my stepmom took the time to thoroughly research and explain the technical process to me every step of the way.
I have only shared with a small circle of people because I prefer to keep my personal life private, except for Reddit. My manager is unaware, but a few close friends, supportive coworkers, and my parents know about my journey. I plan to keep some details to myself for my sanity and to keep an element of surprise. My in-laws are unaware. Anyone up for a group chat? 
My Asian immigrant mother struggles to comprehend the situation. At Thanksgiving, she mistakenly told my Caucasian mother-in-law that she doesn’t understand why only her daughter can’t have kids, to which my MIL had to clarify. I’m trying to figure out how to keep her informed while also shielding myself from her insensitive remarks. I can relate to your experience.
I avoided discussing the situation with my family in detail to avoid burdening them with bad news, but they were aware of our plans to navigate through it and offered their support. I told them we would address it later in the year. At work, I was more open with my boss and he was very supportive, granting me days off as needed.
I am a Latina and my family has been mostly supportive. My aunts jokingly tell me to have lots of sex. My husband’s Dominican family offered me a special drink to try if we want, although my husband shut that down. I haven’t tried the drink yet. I had a breakdown in my car after my baseline and blood test. I wanted to wait until January for IVF treatment but my doctor suggested one more IUI with increased letrozole. I started supplements to help my lining. Now I regret agreeing to the IUI because I worry it may be a waste of time. My husband wanted to wait for IVF but I don’t want to admit he was right. I am staying strong out of principle.
I am grateful for the support from my boomer, Catholic, and Baptist Jamaican parents who may not fully grasp the IVF process but understand my stress and desire for a fulfilling life. My American in-laws, while initially pushy, have become supportive after my husband explained our IVF journey to them. My black female friends show care without prying, some experiencing fertility issues themselves. I feel fortunate to have these people in my life and avoid sharing our journey with anyone who may be problematic.
I confided in my mom, a few close friends, and a couple of aunts as a Latina. They have been supportive, but I prefer not to share with many people due to the ongoing updates and complications of the situation. It can be exhausting to constantly keep everyone informed.
I have kept a lot to myself as a black Latina in a same-sex marriage, dealing with unsupportive parents. I am uncertain how to break the news to them once we are 12 weeks along. Despite the challenges, my partner and I have overcome a lot together. Feel free to message me for support, as my wife and I have faced multiple rounds of IVF. How are you managing the process? Have you started yet?
Thank you for the wonderful responses I woke up to. I think we would make a great support group for each other. Having experienced multiple miscarriages and failed IVF transfers, dealing with endometriosis and insensitive comments from family members and colleagues, I know how tough this journey can be. Despite the challenges, I am hopeful for the upcoming transfer and am doing everything I can to improve my chances. It’s important to have a supportive community that understands the unique struggles we face. Let’s show radical empathy towards each other and support one another through this difficult process. Here’s hoping all of our rainbow babies are waiting for us on the other side.