Lately, I’ve been grappling with this overwhelming feeling of uncertainty and doubt about the direction my life is headed in. I used to be so sure of my goals, passionate about my dreams, but now? I’m not so sure if I even want this anymore.
It’s like I’ve hit a roadblock and all the passion and motivation that once fueled me has dissipated into thin air. The industry I’m in no longer seems as exciting as it once did, the projects I used to pour my heart into feel like mundane tasks now.
Has anyone else ever felt this way? Like you’re standing at a crossroads, unsure which path to take next? How did you navigate
I can relate to this feeling as I am on my fourth transfer. I am uncertain if it is still worth it and appreciated not being overwhelmed with hormones and fears of another loss. Sending you hugs and reminding you that you are not alone.
Take a deep breath. Your pain is valid. Unfortunately, loss is common in the first trimester, but chances decrease after the heartbeat scan and leaving the first trimester. IVF is considered high risk and usually involves extra monitoring for reassurance. Once you feel kicks, it helps ease the fear. I have a child and am doing IVF for a second, and I struggled in the first trimester from fear. The fear may never completely go away, but it does improve over time. Just remember, even our parents still worry about us as adults.
I was extremely relieved when my initial FET was unsuccessful. I was struggling with my protocol and simply wanted to feel better. I completely relate to this sentiment. Despite the stress and anxiety, it’s important to remember that our feelings do not dictate our level of success. The emotional and hormonal toll of the process can be overwhelming. Many women also struggle to enjoy pregnancy, but this does not determine the outcome or what is meant to be.
I can relate to this on a personal level. With multiple egg retrievals, transfers, years of appointments, and setbacks, I find myself struggling to maintain hope in the face of fertility treatments. It’s a constant battle to push forward, even though the idea of motherhood feels distant and unattainable. I question whether this journey is truly meant for me, if I’m unconsciously guarding myself, or if my desire has waned over time. Like others have mentioned, you are not alone in this struggle. My heart goes out to you 
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I used to envision myself pregnant and starting a family with my husband, but now I can’t even imagine it anymore.
I apologize for the pain you’re going through, it can be isolating and few truly understand. PTSD is a tough battle with no easy answers. I’m sorry for the difficulties you’ve faced, it’s unfair. It’s commendable that you’re aware of your dissociation, seek therapy if needed. Sending virtual hugs and wishing you luck on your journey.
I can relate to this feeling. The IVF journey has drained all the excitement of potentially becoming a mother, and I’m starting to question why I even started this process. It’s been incredibly tough and has consumed so much of my life. I hope that one day I can look back at this time and it will seem like just a brief moment. But right now, I find myself wondering why I didn’t just choose to be happy without children. I’ve only been on this journey for a year and a half, and I can’t imagine how some women go through this for 5+ years without giving up. The amount of strength and perseverance they have is truly commendable.
Having struggled with infertility for years, I understand your pain and it is completely valid. Despite finally having a successful but complicated pregnancy, I found it rough and stressful due to constant fear of miscarrying. Postpartum has been challenging as I am overly protective of my child, stemming from previous losses. Seeking help, I love my daughter dearly and enjoy being a mother more as she grows. Despite the difficulties, I am willing to go through it all again for the chance of having another child, though it may not be successful. My daughter was my only normal embryo after years of trying, with several cycles canceled due to lining issues.
I woke up 10 minutes ago with this thought on my mind, which originated from a dream I had. In the dream, I met a woman who struggled to have children for years, leading to failed cycles, debt, and depression that ultimately ended her marriage. As she got older, she realized she was grateful for not having children and had a fulfilling life. Since my failed transfer last month, I have been feeling panicked, confused, and sad, with these same thoughts consuming me. The medication for my upcoming FET on 12/23 has taken a toll on me, physically and emotionally, causing me to miss my old self and become a different person. I read a post today that perfectly echoed my feelings, making me realize I am not alone in this struggle. Hopefully, these emotions are just a result of the medication. Sending you a hug and sorry to hear you are going through this too.
I struggled with Leukemia and this is even more difficult. we lost 1 person during the first BETA.
I can relate to your experience, especially in the last paragraph. It’s important to acknowledge the possibility that things may not work out and find some relief in the life you’ve created without children. Finding emotional balance in this journey has been key to maintaining my sanity despite the exhaustion. Remembering that the end goal is to expand my family with my spouse, not just to have a baby, helps me stay grounded. It’s okay to take a break when needed and revisit the process when the time is right.
This process has become exhausting and disheartening. After multiple failed and canceled transfers, I just feel like I’m going through the motions. I had to cancel a transfer due to COVID, and while I was disappointed, I also felt a sense of relief. It’s hard to continue feeling like this treatment is disconnected from the actual desire for a child. Each appointment and test feels like a painful ordeal.
It’s important to prioritize your own health and well-being during this process, even if some doctors may not see it that way. You are not alone in feeling this way. I hope that as your hormones regulate, you start to feel better. You deserve to take care of yourself amidst all of this uncertainty. My thoughts are with you.
I came across this forum and read a comment that brought back all the emotions from my journey to conceive. After years of pain and grief, I had my twin boys at 50, following an ectopic pregnancy at 45. My love for my husband saved me, but I knew there had to be another way. I dedicated myself to helping women struggling to become mothers. Four years ago, I was blessed with twin boys and fulfilled my promise. I urge you to consider how our subconscious mind can affect fertility. I recommend Marisa Peer’s book “Trying to conceive and succeeding” and am available for support on Instagram. Sending love and hugs, Valentina.
I understand how you feel! I went through a similar experience with my last unsuccessful round. It took me some time to start feeling better and less angry, but then I found out about my uterine polyps and felt like I was back to square one. I am considering postponing my next IVF round due to the challenges I’ve faced. Take some time to reflect on your choices and wishes, and remember to be positive. I’m doing the same with my husband. <3
My husband and I both took SUTAB for a colonoscopy prep. While my husband needed all 24 tablets to get clear, I only took 15 tablets and achieved the same result. This was a significant improvement compared to the previous prep I had to endure. I will definitely use SUTAB again in the future.
I am sending hugs your way!
I’m truly sorry for your loss, it’s a difficult time. Keep going, it’s not easy being pregnant after experiencing a miscarriage. Every day is a struggle, but there are also moments of hope and celebration. It’s a challenging journey, but we just have to take it one day at a time. Best wishes if you decide to continue on this path.
I understand how you feel. I recently discovered that my third transfer has ended in a miscarriage. I am feeling lost and overwhelmed.
Sorry, I appreciate your honesty. I’m having a hard time with the conflicting emotions of not being able to conceive and the fear of losing my freedom and individual pursuits as a mom. It’s disrupting my life and making me feel like it’s on hold. I feel guilty for feeling this way when I’m supposed to want a baby wholeheartedly. Can anyone relate? Am I the asshole for feeling this way?